One woman, one life, one book at a time…

I recently participated in a book signing for The Pinwheel Girl Takes Flight at a major women’s clothing retailer. The store was having a big sale — 30% off everything!

I was so excited to participate! I was told the store is PACKED on these special sale days and that the line to check out stretches in circles all around the store and out the front door. WOW!

The store manager said “Bring A LOT of books” – Would 50 be enough? I asked; afterall, I was only scheduled for two hours at the store. She said no, that wasn’t enough, that I should bring 100! She said her customers were the perfect demographic for my book.  “So bring lots and lots of books!” she said. So I did.  I brought one hundred.

you are bigger than life ~ expanding, reaching, connecting

When I arrived, the store was already bustling. Women were everywhere! I decided this was going to be a fantastic day. I was going to sell A LOT of books – all 100, I thought.

It was time to meet some Pinwheel Girls and spread the mission of empowerment!

And so I began…

Smiling at everyone, welcoming them to my table, greeting and meeting, and chatting, and smiling some more. For two hours. Non-stop.

I complimented the ladies on their clothing selections. I gave advice when they asked “do you think this goes with this?” and “what do you think of this jacket on me?” as they posed in the front of the mirror. I handed out Pinwheel Girl postcards, walked the store, invited women to my table, and more.

Interestingly, after two hours I had not sold ONE SINGLE BOOK. 

Frustrating? Oh yes. I had to lug 100 books back through the shopping mall parking lot to my car! And it was pretty embarrassing when the store manager kept asking me how many books I had sold.

As I was packing up to leave, I started processing the afternoon’s event. Many women I noticed could not make eye contact with me. In fact, they did whatever they could to avoid it.  They even pretended to look at something far off in the distance so as to avoid my eyes.

Many physically went out of their way so that they did not have to walk in front of my table. Some could only wanly smile. Others surely must have felt that I was intrusive even though I am positive my approach was friendly and polite. Very few women spoke with or acknowledged me. All this despite several announcements made by the store manager over the loud speaker to come and chat with me and check out the book.

It made me sad. I was feeling pretty defeated. What a waste of time, gas money, and energy, I thought. I was really getting down. The mission of the Pinwheel Girls did not feel like it was thriving at all!

But guess what?

As usual, like always, I had a surprise coming and it would indeed become a fantastic day just like I had predicted – just not in the specific way I had thought – and not just for me but for someone else, too…

Someone who was on her way to the store in just a few minutes…

By now it was 3 pm, and as I was preparing to leave, feeling sorry for myself and totally aggravated, in walks a woman who looked like she just had gotten out of bed.

I was packing my book boxes and she approached me, not to talk about my book, but to ask me about linen pants and did they need ironing? So we started to talk about linen pants and how they crease between the legs if you wear them even once and then, yes, they need pressing again and again. The conversation halted a bit then and she lingered.

It was then that I knew there was more coming. It was one of those “timing” things where you know it was meant to be. I’m on my way out. She’s on her way in. We might have missed each other…

Suddenly she began telling me about her breast cancer, mastectomy, breast prosthesis surgery, and severe & multiple complications with all of her surgeries. About how difficult it is for her to buy clothes. How depressed she is. How sad she has become over her ravaged body that has grown “ugly and mutilated” with scars and missing parts. How she hates the dressing room mirrors. How she recently lost her job.

And how she just got out of bed and realized that the sale was on at her favorite store and she’d better hurry over to see if there was anything that might work for her.

She said “I used to have beautiful breasts…I used to be beautiful. Now I look like a 10 year old girl. My body is so ugly.” She told me that flesh from her stomach was used to create a new breast. It didn’t work. She felt deformed. She cried. So did I.

I looked into her eyes and said “I think you are beautiful just as you are.”

I really meant it. I really, really did. It was the most sincere thing I’ve ever said to anybody. Ever.

We stood there holding hands while all the other women walked around us. I said “I think you should give your body a rest now. No more corrective surgeries. At least not for a little while. Let it get used to the way it is now. No more cutting, no more scalpels. Just be. Just be…”

She smiled. “No one’s ever said that to me since this all started…they all want to put me back to the way I was.”

I told her she is already intact. She is still whole. We talked for a long while.

As you may know, the Pinwheel Girl doesn’t have any breasts.  So I gave her a copy of The Pinwheel Girl Takes Flight. I didn’t sell it to her. Why would I? The moment between us was so poignant – it’s not about money, it’s not about sales.

It’s about healing.

healing, affirmation, empowerment, comfort

My book is not a best-seller. It’s not on any “list.” The Pinwheel Girl is not an internationally acclaimed personality or celebrity. She is not even a certified life coach or an “expert” on anything.

She is just an ordinary woman who can reach out and heal, offer comfort and encouragement, and remind women of the vastness of their own inner strength.

She is me. She is you. She is Every Woman.

Do you understand what I mean?

I meet women like the lady in the store ALL THE TIME. We connect. The Pinwheel Girl offers one little thing that seems to matter, that seems to give a glimmer of healing.

ALL THE TIME. That’s how she works. That’s what she does.

The day at the store by some people’s accounts would be considered a failure. I didn’t sell any books at all. Not one. But for me the day was a tremendous success. A huge success.

Why? Because at just the right moment, when the veil was thin between coming and going—it was only a mere five minute window–the woman who needed the Pinwheel Girl the most found her.

In fact, she was the ONLY woman in that store that day who needed the Pinwheel Girl.

I believe that the Pinwheel Girl heals “one woman, one life, one book at a time” and that those who need the Pinwheel Girl find her.

This is my legacy.

And, yes, she did buy the linen pants. They fit. They looked nice. She felt good in them. Now that’s empowerment.

By the way, you not here reading this by accident. To learn more about The Pinwheel Girl Takes Flight, click here. Sending you warm winds. I’ll meet you in the sky.