Stop, Stop, Stop!
October 3, 2011 by
Filed under INNER JOURNEY
Do you practice self-pity?
Constantly saying “No one will love me” or “I’m no good at XYZ” or “I’m trapped in this horrible situation” is not only ineffective it’s a habit that is also extremely dangerous to your well-being. Thoughts like these can self-perpetuate into a never-ending downward spiral.
go on now...move!
If you’re tempted to recite a patterned self-victimizing thought, STOP. Develop the awareness that you are doing this and STOP yourself. The next seconds are crucial…as soon as you realize that you have recited a self-victimizing or “pity party” thought, immediately change your physical energy. Get up if you’re sitting, walk if you’re standing, change directions if you’re walking, move to a different room or chair, etc. Take that opportunity in the movement to think a new thought. You will be surprised at how effective this is. But, like all habits, it must be practiced.
You can STOP debilitating, negative self-talk. You must.
Your well-being is counting on you.
Hello! I follow you on Twitter. I’m LarryJoe88. How do you stop negative self talk and what do you replace it with? I find I get caught in neg self talk and it goes on and on and on. I catch myself but have trouble filling the void. Positive affirmations don’t really help. What do you do once you’ve recognized you’re engaged in negative self-talk? What’s the next step?
Be well!
Larry
Hi Larry ~ I really do think it starts with awareness building. Becoming aware of the times and triggers when you are actually doing it. You have to listen and watch yourself so that you are aware of when you are doing it. If you can’t do that, then you won’t be able to stop it. Then you must value yourself SO MUCH that you decide you will not harm yourself or your spirit a moment further by engaging in negative self-talk. You’ve got to make that promise and commitment to yourself. You would NEVER talk to someone else as harshly as you do to yourself, would you? I try to look at that way. I think we are all too aware of our shortcomings and we beat ourselves up for them incessantly. I would suggest that when you catch yourself in negative self-talk that you make the commitment to stop that, forgive yourself, and then try to find out what the fear is that caused the negative talk in the first place. Usually negative self-talk is caused by some kind of fear in that moment. That’s why positive affirmations aren’t always enough. You have to get at the fear that caused the negative talk in the first place. I once challenged myself to come up with 100 positive things about myself. I was surprised to find that I could easily fill the 100 slots on my paper. And then some more. And more. And more. That might be an interesting exercise to try. We are trained to think negatively. So…it is a matter of building awareness and then untraining ourselves. Best wishes to you. You will get there…Hugs!